Past Mistakes
by NikkiB1973
Summary: "We will get to have our happily ever after, Bells..." Jake vowed. If only it were true... Set years after Eclipse AU.


**Past Mistakes**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

The day was overcast, the black clouds hovering low in the sky. A fine drizzle of rain fell slowly making the air damp and misty. Bella Cullen's lustrous, brown hair curled up at the ends as the water dripped on her head. She knelt in front of the grave, the mud marking her expensive designer jeans. Her hands were stark white against the brown earth as she pulled angrily at the weeds covering the grave. She toiled for ten minutes tearing up the weeds by the roots. She wiped a hand across her brow leaving a streak of dirt across her forehead. As the last plant was tugged from the ground, Bella sat back and observed her handiwork.

"That's better..." she murmured. She could now see the name chiselled into the headstone and her vision blurred as the tears she couldn't cry burned her eyes. She thumped her fist in the soft earth, leaving a gaping hole in the ground. "I'm sorry Jake, so sorry..."

For a brief moment she half expected to hear her best friends husky tones telling her to stop apologising. Her golden eyes closed as she conjured up an image of him in her head. His smile, the dark penetrating eyes and the solid muscular lines of his taut body flashed in front of her. The last time that Bella had seen Jacob Black was forty years ago but not a day went by when she did not think of him. The years had been long as she had time to reflect on the reckless decisions she had made as a naïve teenager.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered again as her delicate fingers traced the letters of his name. "Please forgive me."

Bella stayed in front of the grave for a long time, not moving from her cramped position. Day turned into night as she finally lay down next to the grave and curled up into a ball, closing her eyes. She could not sleep but she could lose herself in the memories. It was her way of being able to change the mistakes of the past.

XXXXXX

Jacob flung his arm over Bella's shoulder as soon as she exited her old truck. "Hey you, missed ya." He said as he pulled her closer to his side.

Bella sighed with contentment as his supernatural heat warmed up her body. She had missed him too. She slipped her arm around his waist as she smiled up at him. "Ditto..." she replied, her code for letting him know that she agreed with him.

Jacob gave her one of his sunny grins as he led her toward the garage. As usual she noticed he had flipped the old crate she used as a seat upside down, ready for her to sit on. By the side was a brown paper bag, Bella smiled wryly, she guessed that inside were two warm sodas. There was something comfortable and safe about the predictability of their friendship. She loved knowing what to expect as she entered their sanctuary or the 'Taj Mahal' as Jake liked to call his garage.

Bella sat down on the old crate and pulled her knees up to her chest. "What ya working on today?" She asked as she watched him lean over to sort through his tool box. Her eyes travelled up his long legs and fixated on his cute butt as he rummaged through the contents.

"I am going to change the oil filter in the engine. Want me to show you how its done?" He asked playfully as he finally found the tool he was hunting for and twirled it around his fingers skilfully.

"Nah I would rather just watch you?" The words were out of Bella's mouth before she realised what she had said.

A wide smile lit up Jacob's face as he watched the red flush of embarrassment light up Bella's cheeks. She was so freaking adorable. "Feel free to watch all you want honey? Want me to take my shirt off so you can see everything?" He gave her a teasing wink.

"Ha Ha hilarious. It was just a slip of the tongue, Jake..." she muttered irritably.

Jacob chuckled at her annoyed tone. "You keep telling yourself that, Bells..."

"Whatever..." Bella huffed as she opened the paper bag at her feet and pulled out one of the sodas.

Jacob laughed again and turned around to peer under the hood of the VW Rabbit. His shirt rode up his back and Bella choked on her drink as she stared at the smooth skin and the defined muscles of his lower back. She shook her head trying to clear it. She was a taken woman, she had no right to ogle her best friend no matter how hot he was. Swallowing nervously, Bella took another sip of her drink and spent the rest of the afternoon gazing at Jacob adoringly and then internally remonstrating with herself for checking him out.

XXXXXX

Bella shifted uncomfortably as the memory faded from her mind. The rain had increased it's tempo and was soaking through her clothes, but she hardly felt it. That day with Jake had been a good day and she wished she could crawl into her memories and stay there. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she began to sift through other precious moments she had shared with him. She clamped her eyes shut as she delved into her past.

XXXXXX

"Why do you let him come between us, Bells?" Jacob questioned her. "He is so fucking controlling."

Bella buried her head against his warm chest and sighed. "He is just protective of me Jake. He worries about my safety, you know what a danger magnet I am."

Jacob laughed sarcastically. "You are not a danger magnet Bella. He brings the danger to you. None of this would be happening if he just left you alone."

Bella could not find the words to dispute this fact. She pressed herself closer to his hard body, seeking the warmth that was lacking from her life. She was always so cold these days. As she knew he would, Jacob wrapped his strong muscular arms around her, cradling her close. "How long have we got?" He asked her eventually.

"Well I kinda snuck out without him realising. It was like a last minute decision." Bella let out a nervous giggle.

Jacob had to smile at her mischievous tone. "Cool, my little rebel..."

Bella gazed up at him as she pulled away and slapped his chest playfully. "Hey not so much of the little. I can still out run you." She challenged him.

Jacob arched an eyebrow. "Really? Maybe when you were like three and I was still learning to walk..." he chuckled.

"Right mister...see if you can catch me now then..." Bella shoved him away from her and spun round. Her feet hit the sand as she tried to run .

Jacob grinned at her in amusement as he watched her stumble. Before she hit the sand he was behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her up and anchored her back to his chest. "You should know that you can't get away from me..." he teased.

Bella crossed her arms across her chest in mock irritation. "Well I don't have the advantage of supernatural speed." She scolded.

"Aww is my iclkle Bells throwing a tantrum." Jacob said in a mocking tone. He twisted her round and threw her over his shoulder as he marched down the beach, laughing as she wiggled around madly yelling at him to put her down.

XXXXXX

Bella rolled onto her back. The rain was wetting her cold skin and sliding down her white cheeks. Her eyelids fluttered open and she stared up at the dark sky. "I might not be able to cry on the outside anymore Jake, but I can on the inside..." she said sadly. Her misery at his loss washing over her.

Time marched on and Bella continued to stare up into space. The rain finally let up and the brisk wind moved the covering clouds from the sky. For the first time that night stars peeked out shining lightly. It was a beautiful sight, the sky seemed endless. Bella stretched her arms up in front of her and the silver bracelet that she wore permanently on her left wrist slipped down from under her sleeve. Dangling from the end was an exquisitely made wooden wolf. She stared at it, admiring the workmanship. Her eyes drifted shut as she lost herself in the memory of the night of Alice's graduation party when he had given it to her.

XXXXXX

As soon as Jacob entered the main hall of the Cullen's palatial mansion his dark eyes searched for Bella. A hyped up Embry and Quil stood on either side of him. They were both uncomfortable being in the lair of their natural enemy. Jacob had tried to put them off coming with him, but they had been insistent. They were his wingmen, there was no way they would let him in there alone without back up. The thumping base of the music made them wince, their enhanced hearing making the music sound twice as loud.

Jacob continued to hunt around for Bella, ignoring the lustful looks that the female occupants were throwing his way as he walked confidently through the large room. As he pushed his way through the throng of people he finally caught sight of Bella surrounded by a throng of her friends. He smiled in amusement as he watched Mike Newton trying unsuccessfully to get Bella's attention. Would that dude ever give up? Jacob turned to Embry and Quil.

"Hey guys will you get rid of this crowd? I want to get a few minutes alone with my girl..." He asked them.

"Are you sure about this man? I mean we are right in the middle of the leech's lair. I am surprised that Cullen is not attached to her hip." Embry cautioned him.

Jacob let out a low growl at the mention of Edward. "Fuck Cullen. I have not been able to see Bella alone for the last week. Just get them away from Bella so I can talk to her."

"Already done..." Quil hit Jacob on the shoulder as he strode confidently up to the group surrounding Bella. "Hey ladies..." he said as he threw an arm over Jessica and Angela's shoulders. "Which one of you lovely ladies would like the honour of dancing with me and my friend over there?"

Both girls giggled nervously. Embry rolled his eyes at his friend but decided to play along. Within moments both boys had the girls hanging off their every word as they followed them onto the temporary dance floor. Jacob 's eyes locked onto Bella intently as he strode toward her. Mike Newton seemed unaware of his approach as he kept chewing Bella's ear off.

The heated look in Jacob's eyes was setting Bella's skin on fire. Her breath was coming in short pants as he reached her. Mike Newton had finally realised that they had company and he staggered back slightly as Jacob turned his head and glared at him.

"Get lost..." he said, his tone threatening.

Mike swallowed nervously. "I'll err...talk to you later Bella." He mumbled as he quickly fled.

Bella bit her lip trying not to laugh as she gazed up at Jacob. "That was a bit mean..."

"Whatever, that douche never seems to get the message."

Bella shrugged. "He's harmless really."

Jacob held out his hand, already bored with talking about Newton. "Come with me..." he said huskily.

As soon as Bella placed her hand in his her skin felt like it was melting. The sudden wave of desire that washed over her made her breath hitch. By the pained look that Jacob was sporting she guessed he felt the same. He led her her away from the dancing crowd, his hand holding tightly to hers. As they weaved though the bodies she saw Quil and Embry wrapped around Jessica and Angela, wow they were fast workers.

Jacob slipped out of the large sliding doors that led into the back part of the mansion. Bella followed him, her eyes constantly scanning for any sign of the Cullen family. They had been holed up in one of the rooms upstairs for the past hour. Alice had a vision and as usual, Edward had refused to let her know what was going on, insisting that she didn't need to worry. He had it all under control.

They finally ended up in a secluded corner of the extensive grounds, hidden by a group of trees. Almost at once Jacob gently pushed Bella's back against one of the trees and his lips smashed onto hers, kissing her hungrily. Bella let out a breathy moan as his tongue explored her mouth. Her hands wound into his hair as she tried to climb up his body, yearning to feel his hot skin on hers. It had been too long since they had last been together.

"I've missed this Bells..." Jacob murmured as his mouth left her swollen lips and began kissing down her exposed neck.

"Me too," Bella sighed softly. Her hands had found their way under his t-shirt and she stroked her fingers along the defined muscles of his back.

Jacob pulled away slightly so he could look into her beautiful brown eyes. He needed to give her something before they became too lost in their passion. Bella whimpered as his hot hands left her body. "Jake," she pouted. "We haven't got much time."

He laughed softly at her adorable expression. "I have something for you..." he pulled a little cloth bag from his pocket.

Bella smiled in delight as he placed the small bundle in the palm of her hand. She looked the small bag over, admiring the pretty designs stitched so skilfully into the woven fabric. "It's beautiful, Jake..." she whispered.

Jacob laughed again. "Bells, the present is in the bag..."

"Oh. Sorry..." Bella apologised sheepishly. She turned the bag over and a silver bracelet fell into her hand. This time she gasped as she saw the wooden wolf charm attached. "It's beautiful, an exact replica of your wolf. Did you make this?"

"Yep..." Jacob replied proudly, popping the p. He reached out and took the bracelet from her trembling fingers and clasped it around her left wrist. "Now you will always have a part of me with you." His voice suddenly turned serious.

Bella gazed up at him, her eyes liquid with unshed tears. She loved him so much. If they didn't have the threat of Victoria and the newborns hanging over their heads she would have ditched Edward and been able to tell the world about her love for her wolf boy. But until the situation was resolved they had decided to keep their love secret and could only enjoy snatched moments such as this. Bella reached up and slipped her hand around the back of Jacob's neck and pulled his head down to hers. "I love you..."

"I love you too, Bella Swan..." he replied gently before pressing his mouth back to hers. He wrapped his arms around her body as he lifted her so that her feet left the ground as they shared another passionate kiss.

XXXXXX

Bella tried to snatch the image back as it faded from her mind. "Damn..." she yelled out, her curled fists thumping the ground beside her.

She turned over so that she was lying on her stomach. Other scenes flashed in her head and she dismissed each one swiftly. She did not need to relive the build up to the newborn battle. She rested her aching head on her hands and closed her eyes again. She tried to relax her rigid body to dispel the tension. She forced a picture of Jacob into her mind. It was the night before the newborn battle and they were in a small tent on a mountain top, the snow and wind whistling outside. Edward sat off to one side, grumbling to himself as Jacob held her in his arms keeping her warm...

XXXXXX

"Why don't you leave and give us some peace so we can sleep..." Jacob said irritably, pissed off that Cullen refused to leave Bella's side.

"I would if I knew that your intentions were honourable dog but your thoughts give you away." Edward sneered.

Bella had her head pressed to Jacob's chest and she was having a hard time not laughing out loud at Edward's statement. Jacob's hand was tangled in her hair as he tried to hide his own amusement at the bizarre situation they now found themselves in. "My god leech you really are one strange dude..."

Edward gritted his teeth as he glared at him, his golden eyes boring a hole through his skin. "Just keep your thoughts pure around her. She is an innocent, fragile girl and does not need to be corrupted by you."

Bella dug her fingernails into Jacob's skin as her body shook with laughter. He felt her breath wash over his bare skin as she tried to gain control over her emotions. His hand slid down her back as he clutched her closer to his heated body. He saw Edward narrow his eyes and he flashed him a smug smile before laying down next to Bella and closing his eyes.

Exhaustion had made them both fall into a deep sleep. Bella felt safe and loved in Jacob's arms. For the first time in a long time she suffered no nightmares. As the dawn's light finally touched the mountains Edward left the tent to reconnoitre, checking their surroundings one last time. Jacob heard him leave and he gave a sigh of relief. At last!

"Bells..." he whispered.

Her eyelids fluttered open revealing her chocolate brown eyes. "Morning handsome..." she smiled at him lazily. Then, as if she realised her error, her hand clamped over her mouth as she glanced to the side.

Jacob laughed at her reaction. "Don't worry honey. He's gone for the moment." He told her.

She let out a relieved sigh. "Thank god for that...come here you." She leaned up on her elbows so that she could reach his inviting lips.

Jacob moaned into her mouth as their tongues intertwined. His hand clamped on her ass as he rolled them over so that she was lying draped across him. "Damn I wish you weren't wearing so many layers..." he complained.

"Me too..." she said regretfully, peppering little kisses all over his face. She then sat up so that she was sitting astride him. She could feel his erection pressed between her legs, her hands wandered up and down his bare chest exploring the dips and grooves of his muscled stomach and upper body. "Jake..."

"Yeah..." Jacob said absently, distracted by the feel of her hands on his sensitized skin.

"I'm scared...what if something happens today. I can't lose you..." Bella finally voiced her fears as the hour approached.

Jacob reached up and pulled her down to him. He rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, Bella. We will get our happy ever after. I promise." He vowed.

Bella held his beloved face in her hands. "I want it so much..." she confessed.

Jacob gave her one of his sunny grins. "Me too...I love you."

"I love you too." Bella kissed his full mouth, sucking in his lower lip and nipping at it.

Jacob's strong arms wrapped around her as he pressed her body to his as they kissed passionately, savouring the last few moments of peace before the battle.

XXXXXX

Bella felt wetness grazing her cheeks. It was raining again. It seemed that the world was crying for her. She wiped at the droplets of water and sat up, her tangled hair settling around her shoulders. Daylight was kissing the horizon, blood red streaks stained the sky as the sun heralded the start to another day. Bella sat up and crawled over to the grave, kneeling beside it again. Her fingers traced the letters of his name again.

"It's almost time, Jake..." she murmured. Unwillingly she closed her eyes again and was transported back to their last fateful moments together.

XXXXXX

The fight was over, the burning smell of the bonfires rented the air as the pack burnt the remains of the newborns. It had all gone smoother than any of them had hoped. They had suffered no losses. Jacob waited impatiently for Cullen to bring Bella back from their safe place. He paced back and forth in his human form scanning the tree line. After what seemed an age he saw Seth's wolf emerge from the trees, the youngster seemed hyped up, his eyes wild. A horrible feeling of dread burst through Jacob as his feet pounded on the turf as he ran toward his pack brother.

"Where is she?" He yelled at Seth, who cringed away from him. "Tell me..."

The thin sandy wolf's form began to shimmer and in it's place stood Seth Clearwater, tears staining his cheeks. His lips wobbled as he looked at Jacob. "I'm sorry, Jake...I tried."

Jacob felt his heart slowing down and he clutched at his chest as pain shot through it. He knew, Seth didn't need to say the words. "Where is she now?" His voice sounded dead.

Seth looked at him sadly. "Edward has taken her to the mansion. She hasn't long left before she changes completely. He said if you wanted to see her before it takes hold then you need to get there now..."

Jacob did not reply, he phased at once, his paws tearing up the earth as he ran the fastest he ever had in his life toward the girl who held his heart.

The front doors were unlocked as Jacob burst through them. He sped into the main living area; all the Cullen's were there grouped around one of their long couches. Their heads turned and he flinched at the pitying looks on their faces as he strode toward them. Edward was kneeling next to her, holding onto her hand. Jacob growled deep in his chest at the sight and he watched Cullen drop her hand and rise up onto his feet. For the first time he had an empathetic look on his face as he stared at Jacob.

"She has been asking for you...I am sorry Jacob, Victoria got hold of her and bit her before I could kill her. She hasn't long left before the change takes hold of her..." Edward informed him sadly.

"Leave us..." Jacob ground out. "I want privacy."

The Cullen's exchanged looks before complying with his request. Edward was the last to leave. "I will always look after her Jacob Black, I promise you that." He vowed before leaving them alone.

Jacob approached the couch and knelt beside her. He reached out and gathered Bella's inert body in his arms. Her pale skin already felt cold to the touch. He heard her heart beating, it sounded sluggish with each breath that she took. Tears streaked his face as he began to rock her in his arms.

"This wasn't supposed to happen..." he cried out. "Please Bells fight it...please."

Bella's eyes fluttered open at the sound of his voice. His touch burned her and she was finding it hard to stop herself crying out with the pain. "I'm sorry Jake, I let you down..." she said weakly.

"Hush honey...this is not your fault. You can fight it, I know it..." He begged. "Please you can't leave me..."

Heat was searing up her spine, she knew that she didn't have long before it consumed her. She struggled to raise her arm so that she could cup his cheek in her palm. "I love you Jacob Black, the best times of my life were spent with you." She gave him a wan smile.

"I love you too, Bella. Please I can't survive without you."

Bella's heart slowed down as it began to fail. The light from her eyes began to fade as the life seeped out of her. Jacob gripped her cold body to his and cried out his despair. He lifted her back onto the couch and lay down beside her. His chest felt tight and he winced in agony. Jacob wrapped his strong arms around her, tangling his legs with hers. His head rested on her chest as her heart stopped beating and she died, taking him with her.

XXXXXX

Bella opened her eyes. It had been agony reliving her last night as a human. The sun was well up in the sky now and she could see the glimmer of sparkles across her pale skin. She stood up, brushing the dirt and leaves off of her clothes. She needed to move before she was discovered. She rested her hand on Jacob's gravestone one last time. "Not long now sweetheart. I will be with you soon."

Bella had an appointment to keep. She was due to meet with the Volturi by sundown. She looked up into the sky and stretched her arms up to the sun, revelling in the warmth. After tonight she would not see another sunrise in this life. Turning she swiftly ran away from the gravesite into the covering trees.

_**FIN...**_

_**A/N-Thanks for reading!**_


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